Posted January 30th, 2012 by jshannon

Well, Royal Rumble was filled with surprises. There were a couple of returns and others that you wouldn't have expected in the Rumble made their marks. The winner of the whole thing, for those of you who might have missed it was…Sheamus.

The Raw Supershow was in Kansas City, tonight.

Roll the opening credits.

Joh Laurinaitis walked out to a chorus of boos. John's performance will be reviewed by Triple H, the C.O.O. of the company. Laurinaitis sucked up, big time, to the fans. Michael Cole announced Sheamus as the winner of the Rumble. Laurinaitis took the house mic and said he was looking forward to his performance review. John was confident that he was going to be made the permanent General Manager of Raw. Laurinaitis smooched up to Triple H, claiming they were old friends and pushing how fantastic HHH has been. Laurinaitis then talked about who would be in the Elimination Chamber, Raw side:

C.M. Punk, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, R-Truth and Chris Jericho.

The PPV is on February 19th. John then ran down the night's card. The main event would be Daniel Bryan vs C.M. Punk…

C.M. Punk's music ripped through the arena. Punk had his own music. He started singing the "Nah Nah Hey Hey Goodbye" song. The crowd chimed in. Laurinaitis told Punk that he was a man of his word, being that he didn't screw over Punk at the Royal Rumble. Punk didn't believe John's words. Punk mocked John's vocal abilities. Punk said HHH was going to come out later and kick Laurinaitis' lanky butt out the front door. Laurinaitis said he wasn't worried because the Board of Directors was a fair and impartial group. Laurinaitis wanted to bury the hatchet with Punk. Punk wouldn't take the handshake that was offered and threatened to hit the Go To Sleep.

For some odd reason, Daniel Bryan then came from the back. The crowd really didn't care for Daniel. Daniel said that no one cares about the issues between Punk and Laurinaitis. He then praised himself for beating Big Show and Mark Henry inside a steel cage. Daniel said Punk wasn't much of a challenge, in comparison to Sunday night's war. Punk mentioned to Daniel that he was the best wrestler in the world. Daniel said he was a role model to the WWE Universe. Punk made fun of Daniel's Vegan lifestyle. Daniel warned Punk that he would stick the pipe bomb up where the sun doesn't shine. Punk said to forget Laurinaitis' silliness and just give KC the best match, possible.

Sheamus then came from the back. He said he came out to make sure everyone knew he won the Royal Rumble. Sheamus reminded everyone that he would be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Sheamus stopped short of announcing which title he would be going after. Sheamus told Laurinaitis "May HHH kick your arse so hard you are throwing up your lace undies." Sheamus left the ring as Punk and Daniel shook hands.

The WWE Rewind went back to last month. Wade Barrett and Randy Orton were fighting in the backstage area. They battled in an elevator and then Orton was sent tumbling down a flight of stairs. His back was injured in the fall. Josh Mathews was in the Sky Box with Wade Barrett.

Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler

The crowd was solidly behind the Apex Predator. Wade commented that he took out Orton for a month, the last time they met. He promised to do much worse, this Friday. Vickie Guerrero came out with Dolph. The two men locked up as it was mentioned that Orton eliminated Barrett in the Rumble match. Orton reversed an Irish Whip into a Universal. Dolph dodged the finishing section of the set of moves. Dolph was a Side Headlock. Orton pushed free and nailed Corner Punches. Dolph reversed a Whip to the corner but Orton exploded out and laid out Dolph. European Uppercut by Orton. Back Elbow by Dolph into a Back Dropkick. Both men were down so Raw decided to take a quick break.

The match was back and Dolph had a Rear Chin Lock cinched in. Orton lifted Dolph onto his back and ran him into the corner. Wade was still watching the action. DOlph kicked Orton to the face and went for a pin. He only got a two count. Orton exploded on Dolph but a Dropkick stopped him cold. Dolph with a Neckbreaker and then he wasted time with Sit-ups. Dolph went to the top but got caught. Orton blasted him and Dolph got crotched. Orton tore into Dolph, on the ropes. Superplex by Orton! 1-2-Kick Out! Wow.

Orton and Dolph exchanged punches. Orton with the Snap Powerslam after the Irish Whip. Rope Assisted DDT was blocked and reversed into a Sleeper. Orton rolled under to get free. Roll-up off the ropes by Orton for a two. Famouser by Dolph for a two. Wade stared in disbelief. Vickie was screaming for her man to keep going. Dolph went back to the Sleeper but Orton shrugged it off and used a La Bandera to take Dolph over the top rope. They fought on the floor and then Orton went for and connected with the Rope Assisted DDT. Orton went to that "special place" and then nailed the R-K-O!

Your Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: A- (93%)

A Wrestlemania promo ran. I'm really hoping for something over the top, this year. The countdown is on. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler then talked about the brutal battle between Kane and John Cena, last night. Kane destroyed Cena and then kidnapped Zack Ryder. Kane then destroyed both Zack and Cena.

John shook hands, backstage. He ran into William Regal. Regal wasn't happy but Laurinaitis blew him off. I'm wondering if Regal is about to become the new GM. That would be AWESOME!

It was Funkasaurus Time! Man, I hated this character, going in, but he has so won me over. The Funkettes were hot as the Vegas summer streets. the trio dance while a huge disco ball spun overhead.

Brodus Clay vs Tyler Reks

the two locked up and Clay threw down Reks and then shimmied. Clay with hard punches and a Bionic Elbow. Reks got a good kick and a Dropkick. Clay went down to one knee but it seemed to wake him up. Clay "Hulked Up" and tore into Reks and then finished him off with what is now called "What The Funk".

Your Winner: Brodus Clay
Grade: B- (83%)

Brodus and the girls danced around to celebrate the win.

Backstage, Punk and Daniel talked. Punk talked about their long friendship. Punk said he didn't really think Daniel was a role model. Daniel pushed his Vegan mindset. Punk then talked about his Straight Edge lifestyle. Punk didn't want to be a role model, just the best wrestler in the world. Their battle was up next.

WWE now has their own channel on YouTube. I love YouTube. Of course, my family is a little sick of the video from Toby Keith "Red Solo Cup", which plays like every single day around here. Smile.

C.M. Punk vs Daniel Bryan
Champion vs Champion Match

Punk screamed "It's Clobberin' Time!" as he got ready for war. This should be an A+ match. They talked about the fantasy match betwen Daniel Bryan and Bret Hart. Hart would eat his lunch AND take his milk money. Daniel with the early advantage with the Dropkick and the Double Stomp to trapped legs. I thought he was going for the Bow and Arrow. Punk came back with hard kicks. Punk with a Rear Chin Lock into a knee to the back. Bodyslam by Punk. Punk missed the Legdrop and Daniel with the hard kick. Kneedrop to the face by Daniel. The fans chanted for Punk. Daniel focused on the right arm and shoulder. European Uppercut by Daniel. Punk lifted Daniel up and over the top rope. Daniel hit hard on the floor. Ax Bomber off the ring apron and a European Uppercut by Punk. Daniel whipped Punk over the barrier and then slid back into the ring.

Punk crawled back towards the ring. Daniel opened up with hard kicks and a Side Headlock. Punk dropped to his knees. Punk with a lift into a Side Drop Suplex. Springboard Clothesline by Punk for a two. Side Backbreaker by Punk. Could Be…Might Be…No. Knife Edge Chops by Punk. Punk dodged a Flying Knee in the corner. Punk slowed things down with a Rear Chin Lock. Daniel ran the ropes to avoid a Corner Rush. Both men went for Crossbody Blocks and landed hard. Raw took a quick break.

Daniel Bryan had Punk in an Arm Breaker as Raw returned. Daniel stepped on the arm and twisted it in ways it should never go. Daniel flipped Punk over and went to the top rope. Punk rushed over and caught Daniel. Knife Edge Chops from Hell. He yelled "Best in the World!" and then hit a Hurancanrana out of the corner. Punk started punching and kicking away and sent Daniel tot he ropes. Flying Leg Lariat into the Rolling Neckbreaker. Punk's arm was really hurt. Elevator Knee into the Bulldog. Punk switched to the right arm to deliver the Bulldog. Punk called for the GTS but Daniel slid out of the ring. Baseball Slide by Punk. On the second attemtp, Dnaiel nailed him in the face. Missile Dropkick by Daniel for a two plus. Both men were dazed. Daniel with Crescent Kicks to the chest of Punk. Punk ducked one and rolled up Daniel. Punk and Daniel reversed several moves and Daniel with a kick directly to the face. 1-2-Are You Kidding Me? A Kick Out!

Daniel took Punk toth e corner and sat him on the top rope. Punk blocked a Superplex. Punk used a Headbutt to send Daniel flying off the turnbuckles. Punk almost lost his balance but nailed the Savage Elbow. How he didn't get a three is beyond me. Daniel reversed the GTS. Punk blocked the LeBell Lock. Punk and Daniel were both down.

Out of nowhere, Chris Jericho rushed out and attacked both men. He gave Punk the Code Breaker. Because Jericho attacked Daniel Bryan first…

Your Winner (by DQ): Daniel Bryan
Grade: A (95%)

Should that have been a No Contest? I'm just saying…

Guess Sheamus is going after Daniel Bryan and Jericho takes on Punk at Mania?

Lawler and Cole talked about the Hall of Fame. As Bill Apter announced earlier today, "Iron" Mike Tyson became this year's entrant into the Celebrity Wing of the WWE Hall of Fame. Well, at least he IS a sports person, not some goofy game show host and lame comic. Tyson had issues with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Chris Jericho, in the past. Tyson also knocked out Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XIV. A lot of people will not like him going in, but I actually think it's not a bad move. That's going to get WWE a whole lot of main stream publicity. I've worked PR, off and on, for some time and getting the news people behind you, in a positive way, is just about as good as it gets.

R-Truth came out in street clothes.

Raw ran their anti-bully message. I dealt with bullies as a kid and I hated them. R-Truth was at the announce table for the next match.

Kofi Kingston vs The Miz

Miz had a microphone in his hand. Miz talked about Kofi's weird handstand in the Rumble match. I heard it was wild. Miz talked about being in the match more than 45 minutes. Miz said his road to Wrestlemania might have been detoured but he would be back on track, after Elimination Chamber. He reminded everyone that he is awesome.

The two locked up and Kofi reversed a Go Behind into a Side Headlock. Kofi came off the roeps but got caught on the Slide Under. Miz with a kick to the face. Miz assaulted Kofi in the corner with knees and kicks. Truth said he was done with Miz. Kofi missed a Corner Splash. Miz with a Mr. Wrestling II Million Dollar Kneelift. Miz stared daggers at Truth. Roll-up by Kofi. Full Body Clothesline by Miz. Ax Bomber by Miz as Truth went off about Little Jimmy and whether he was real or not. Miz with a Front Face Lock. Kofi went up the back for a Roll Up. Kneeling DDT by Miz for two. Miz wsted a lot of time and then rushed the corner. Pendulum Kick by Kofi. Kofi went up to the top rope and hit a Flying Crossbody for two. Miz kicked Kofi and then went into the Reality Check. Kofi blocked it but Miz blocked the STO. Kofi avoided the Skull Crushing Finale and then took out Miz with the Trouble in Paradise.

Your Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: A (95%)

David Otunga said he would do all he could to keep John Laurinaitis in his current spot. John thought David might be after his job but Otunda assured him that he was happy with his current position.

An inside look at The Rock aired. He talked about starting in the WWE at age 25. He has loved the roll that he has been on. He appreciated being recognized everywhere he went. Rock said he was there to educate, motivate and entertain. Rock talked about all the adventures that he had encountered during his life. He also pushed his new Journey2 movie. Family members talked about Rock's black and Samoan heritages. Rock was very close to his grandfather, Peter Maivia. He showed major respect to his grandfather and grandmother.

Raw then pushed the new webisodes on YouTube. It should be interesting.

Eve Torres vs Beth Phoenix
Divas Championship Match

Eve has ben traumatized, in recent days, by the repeated assaults on Zack Ryder. Beth then came out, solo. Beth Backrolled into the ring. The ref showed off the Butterfly Belt. Eve tore into Beth. Maybe the anger and pain of seeing her man hurt fueled her. Beth stopped her short and quickly hit the GlamSlam. Jeez.

Your Winner: Beth Phoenix
Grade: D (63%)

Eve was laid out and the music of Kane burst forth. Kane came on the Tron and said all that happened to Zack was because Cena would not embrace the hate. Kane said Cena would not be able to beat him or The Rock until he embraces the hate. Kane said he would continue to destroy Zack.Kane said Eve would be a conduit to pass the message along. The fire exploded and the music played, again. Eve was frozen in her spot. Kane came up from behind. Eve shrieked in terror as The Big Red Monster stalked her. Cena then hit the ring and all Hell broke loose. The two fought out of the ring and up the ramp. Kane kicked Cena in the ribs and then went to whip him into the stairs. Cena reversed it and Kane crashed into the steel. Cena rammed Kane's face into the steps, several times over. Cena took the top section of the steel steps and slammed them into Kane. He waited for Kane to rise and hit him again. Cena followed Kane around with the steps and cracked him a third time. Cena then dropped the steps and went over to deconstruct the announce table. Cena cracked Kane in the face with a house mic and said it was time to have a party. Cena dragged Kane towards the annoucne table and lifted Kane into position. Kane pulled back and went into the crowd. He stumbled through the masses to avoid Cena. I think Kane has moved Cena closer to the dark chasm.

It was time to find out how John Laurinaitis has been doing in his job as interim GM. The crowd started the "Nah Nah" sing song chant, again. John said he was really looking forward to this and have been, all week. He knew the fans appreciated what he has done. He talked about the fact that the Raw numbers were up. John said he had to self-evaluate and gave himself top scores in several areas. Yawn. He rambled on for far too long. Thankfully, the music of Triple H cut him off.

Trip was in full suit mode for this one. HHH shook John's hand and was ready to get down to business. HHH was amused that John would give himself a lot of "5′s" (on a scale from 0-5. HHH talked about how John took the job from him. He really berated John on his faults. HHH said John used the position to try and make himself a star. John tried to deny it but HHH stopped him short. HHH brought up the Royal Rumble and other things that John used to push himself. HHH talked about himself and Vince being replaced due to personal decisions. John had done the same thing. John said he would do anything he needed to do to keep his job. HHH picked up on it. HHH said he could make him apologize and if the WWE Universe accepted it, he would reconsider his decision. The fans were so loud that you could barely hear the apology. HHH asked the fans if it was good enough, which they felt it wasn't. HHH thought about putting John in a Gauntlet Match but John begged off. HHH came up with another idea. HHH said Vince was a genius in one special way. He would have troublesome members of the WWE join an elite club. Huge "Kiss my *ss" chant. John said he shouldn't have to prove his loyalty. "On your knees" rang out. John went down to his knees and prepped to smooch HHH's backside. This is absurd. HHH laughed at John for being willing to do it and even putting on Chapstick on. HHH said to forget the silly stuff, it was time to do what needed to be done. Triple H said the Board of Directors were ready to let HHH take back over running Raw. HHH wished John the best in all…

The Gong sounded! It's the Undertaker! The lights went out and the music eerily wafted through the arena. The crowd reached an 11 as the Deadman made his return. And despite bizarre photos on the Internet, Undertaker still sported his long hair. Undertaker slowly circled HHH and stared at him. Huge "Taker" chant. there was a long staredown before anyone moved. Undertaker then looked at the Wrestlemania sign. He then did the throat slice to make the challenge. HHH patted Taker on the shoulder and left the ring. Was that a Yes? Taker stared, again, at the Wrestlemania Sign. HHH stopped at the top of the ramp and waited. The music of The Deadman went off again and Raw faded to blue-purple.

Cool ending.

–Jay Shannon
Jade8951